skin tones and voices

Me being creepy at 3 years old. I guess my hair style hasn't changed much since then :))
Bakit ang itim-itim mo? (Why are you so dark?) 

When I was younger, I hated my skin color. For many years, I was the "smart kid" but never the pretty one, partly because I was dark.

I mostly didn't care. But when I allowed those comparisons to linger in my mind, I would feel like the ugliest person and that feeling was just, well, not fun.

The parts of myself that I didn't like, where did they come from? What drove me to purchase skin whitening products in the Philippines and want to be just a few shades lighter? Why did I have relatives who would joke about how dark I was and think it was okay? What made me hate going out under the sun because it would make me even more tan, as if that was the worst that could happen to me?

One simple answer would be the Philippines' colonial background. For over three centuries we were under the rule of Spain. We also briefly had a British Invasion and for almost 50 years, the Americans also occupied my homeland.

During colonial times, when you were dark, it meant that you worked outside. You were part of the lower class. If you had fair skin, you had prestige. Over the years, we carried with us this idea that light skin is the equivalent of beauty and status. It's been ingrained in our advertisements, in our TV shows, in our interactions with people who have been conditioned to believe this.

However, there were also people near and far who would consider my skin tone beautiful; those who say that people in Europe and other "predominantly white" countries would pay money to bake in tanning beds just to have my color. That here in the US, we have tanning sprays and lotions instead of whitening soaps and deodorants. I remember this story of my cousin who went to Macedonia with her family and how the locals kept admiring her skin. I found that uplifting. I could boast about it, but what I'm trying to say is that from hating my skin color, I eventually came to appreciate it. I learned that we always want what we didn't have and it doesn't help anyone to hate what you look like nor to be overly prideful about it.

So why am I writing this? As a follower of Christ, I have a deeper appreciation for the inherent value he bestows upon us as image-bearers of God. The color of my skin is but one part of who I am. This is part of my Filipino identity and it is the source of many stories. In one sense, I just got over it. This isn't a way to "get back" at the people who teased me nor is this a way to cope with losing sleep over how brown I am.

Sometimes I joke that I'm coffee and my husband is cream, lol. Photo by Lukas Suarez.

The point of it all? Your words matter. 

Your view of the world and how you express it could potentially define someone's life. As it relates to skin color, you could either perpetuate the idea of one color being more beautiful than the other, or you could enrich the world by recognizing--nay, acknowledging--someone's beauty regardless of their skin tone and cultural background. Skin color is one thing. It could apply to how we (yes, we) perceive someone's intellect, family of origin, interests, or some other category. 

You see, words matter because they last (see this and and this). Even at 26 years old, sometimes I still tell my husband "Look how brown I am!" with a mix of appreciation and a need for affirmation that my skin is beautiful the way it is.  While I'm not completely wrecked psychologically and I have "gotten over it," the words I heard growing up remain in my psyche. It's up to me to remember my value in Christ, receive the encouragement I get, and reaffirm the beauty of others as I do for myself.


Tell someone they're beautiful and mean it. And if you can't mean it just yet, maybe consider looking at that person differently. Who knows the kind of destiny you're helping shape for that person with your words.

If you're on the receiving end of things--the one being teased and having a hard time embracing what comes naturally, I'm here to tell you that you are lovely. It may take some time to believe it for yourself, but it's true. People always want what they don't have and what we do have is worth celebrating and being thankful for.

Challenge that voice that brings down.
Be that voice that lifts up.

weekend reads

The irony of this photo is that all of the articles I listed are online :))

Happy Saturday friends! Here's a round up of some interesting links for your breakfast browse, afternoon coffee break, or evening wind-down.

Have a great rest of the weekend ahead!

one year in America

I cried at the airport. I cried when I said I wouldn't and I held on to my mom and dad before we had to go inside the terminal at Ninoy Aquino International Airport. I held back tears the whole trip to Manila but when I got off the van, I just lost it. The reality of my leaving behind the Philippines hit me hard only at that moment.

Yesterday I celebrated my one year (!) anniversary of living in the United States. May 11, 2017 I boarded a new Boeing 787 with my husband and what few earthly possessions I had. I landed in LAX and it was still May 11 in San Diego, California--it was a fresh start.

A lot happened in one year. Here's a list of highlights in no particular order:

my first lush cosmetics experience

After 25 years (going on 26 in June!), I've finally started paying attention to my skin. I moved to the US from the Philippines nearly a year ago and the change in climate brought about some changes in my skin as well, especially on my face. It's incredibly humid in the Philippines while California air is really dry. While I'm glad my nose didn't bleed from the climate shift, it was my skin that took a blow.

Cetaphil seemed to do the job until, well, it didn't anymore. I went for a facial a couple months ago and the lady who did it said that I needed to upgrade. Also, thanks to her, I now know that I have normal skin. All these years I thought I had combination skin! I followed her advice and gave myself permission to splurge a bit. My college self would have laughed at you if you told me I'd drop $$$ on skin care products. Skin care is probably one of the things I wouldn't skimp on now.

I wanted to try a bunch of products but I figured that wouldn't be the best for my skin, so I did my research online. There were a few strong contenders but I knew that I wanted to go natural. Enter Lush!

I had heard of Lush back when I was in the Philippines mainly because of their famous bath bombs. But because I didn't go out much (I was one happy introvert), I didn't know they had stores there. I probably wouldn't have purchased them anyway because it was more expensive. So glad I'm in North America where it's relatively cheaper. Here's what I ended up buying:

Good Friday

Today we remember. We revisit. We take it all in once more.
Today is not the day to celebrate...yet.


It's Good Friday and I'm really looking forward to our church service later tonight. The approach will be different from any Good Friday service I've ever attended, mostly because it's going to be so solemn and I find that to be more sobering. Like I said above, it's not yet time to celebrate, exactly. I believe Jesus is alive, yes, but without the darkness of Good Friday, the light of Easter will not be possible. This week has been long and tiring for both Carlo and I, and we both need this night to just be still with God's people and remember our Savior's suffering.


Here are some resources for your Good Friday (and Easter) reflections:
7 Passages to Read on Good Friday (from Crossway)
Image Journal's curated art, poetry, essays and stories for Lent.
10 Passages to Read on Easter (Crossway)
One of my favorite books on the cross.
 A playlist for Good Friday and Easter

Latest Instagrams

© PATRICIA VICTA. Design by Fearne.